A Little Validation from a Stranger

Have you ever received validation on what you are doing from a complete stranger?  It always seems to mean something more when it comes from someone who doesn't know you.

My husband, family, and friends can all tell me I'm doing a good job raising my kids.  I always think, 'yes, ok, thanks' because it seems as if they have to say it because they know me and want to be nice.  When something like that comes from a complete stranger who doesn't know me, my kids, or any circumstances, it somehow means more.

It makes no sense, but in a weird way, it's true.

A few months ago, when I was still pregnant, I was leaving the gym with my three kids in tow.  I was trying to get everyone settled into the car.  Jackson kept asking to go to the park.  It was in the 40s outside, the wind was probably around 20-25mph, the kids weren't properly dressed to play outside, and I was exhausted.  I told him no, we weren't going to the park.  Cue meltdown.

He started arguing with me and talking back to me.  It was along the lines of yes, we are going to the park, I want to go to the park, etc.  He was adamant about going and would not take no for an answer.

I leaned over Sawyer's car seat, got in his face, and said in my mean mommy voice, "No, we are not going to the park.  You do not talk to me that way.  I am the parent, you are the child, and you are being rude and disrespectful.  You will sit down, be quiet, and buckle yourself in.  If you continue arguing with me you will regret it when we get home."  And he did; he wasn't happy about it, but he  did it.

As I unfolded myself from the car, an older woman was walking by my car.  She was probably retirement age.  Of course, I was mortified this woman had heard my child bitching and me reading him his rights in the parking lot of a gym.

She walked right by me, turned to me, and said, "You tell him mom.  You're doing a good job!" with a big smile on her face.

I was still mortified, but I did feel better about chewing my child's ass off.  He did deserve it.  I refuse to have my kids disrespect me or any adult.

This woman, who didn't know me, gave me a huge boost of confidence.  Maybe I'm not screwing my kids up, too much at least.  She has no idea how much her statement meant to me at that moment.  I wish I could thank her for showing me kindness and giving me a little validation when I really needed it.