The Language of Boys

 

I think it's a guy/boy thing.

 

"Mom, the bathroom smells good!"

"That's because I cleaned it."

"Oh, ok."

Translation - Thanks for cleaning all the pee my brother and I spray everywhere.

"I'm hungry."
"Then go get a snack out of the pantry."
"Wow, mom!  We have a lot of food!"
Translation - You are the best mom ever for stockpiling our house with food that will last three days.

"Mom, I made a hot dog poop!  And a bun.  I made a hot dog and bun poop!"
Don't ask me, I just went with the flow on this one.

"Does this match?"
My two oldest boys ask me this every day when they pick out their clothes.  I'm positive they have no clue exactly what they are asking, but I refuse to let them look like hobos unless it's laundry day.  Then all bets are off.

"Let's play Fight!"
"I'm the good guy; you're the bad guy."
"No, I wanna be the good guy!"
"You can both be good guys." - Me
"OK. Sawyer will be the bad guy.  Let's get him."
"NO!" - Me
This is pretty self explanatory.

"Dad, why do your farts smell so bad?"
"Don't say farts, son.  Say toot."
"But it's the same thing."
"Yes, but say toot."
"OK.  But why do your toots smell bad?"
"I don't know, son.  I just don't know."
I laughed so hard I cried when Andrew told me this!

"Mom, Cassidy is a girl."
"Yes, she is."
"Girls don't have a penis."
"No, she doesn't."
"She has a butt.  Two butts!"  Runs offs laughing.
I've had this conversation probably once a week since Cassidy was born, and they discovered she was different.  Then I'm told I am a girl, and you get the gist.  The joy of having boys who believe everything should revolve around a penis.

I saw this on a blog I regularly read and had to share it.  Catholic guilt parenting at its finest!  And yes, I would definitely say this to my children as my mom would have said it to me.