According to today's standards, I should be dead.

According to today's parenting standards, I should be traumatized, have an irrational fear of discipline, have 'mommy' and 'daddy' issues, and/or be dead.

Yet... here I am!

I'm alive.  I'm quite healthy.  I'm an accomplished adult with a college degree and two Masters degrees under my belt.  I contribute to society.  I'm grateful for the things I have.  I give back to society by donating clothes, food, and volunteering (when I actually have the time).  I'm completely boring and normal.

There is so much pressure on parents today to live up to these ridiculous standards set by ourselves, society, and other parents.  Who has the time to throw a Pinterest approved party for their one year old?  Not me.  She got a cupcake, Happy Birthday sung to her, and opened 4 gifts from family members.  There was no cake smash, party strings, or hats.  I stuck a bow on her from a gift.  Does that count as decoration?  And all of this ok.

My kids play outside on our driveway or at a park when I have energy and foresight to take them.  They dig in the dirt, swing, ride bikes, play good guy v bad guy, and generally run around like fools.  But that's ok!  They're having fun!  They're building memories.  No reason to run around trying to find activities and ideas for crafts for them everyday.  We'll do something on special occasions (aka a holiday or if I get randomly inspired which is rare), but it is not my job to entertain my kids all the time.  That's why I had 4!  They have built in playmates called siblings.

I severely limit electronics and TV watching in our house.  They watch morning cartoons, but those get turned off at 8am every day.  We'll watch movies, but the television isn't on all the time.  My kids aren't allowed to play on the computer at all.  I'll let Jackson do some stuff for school on it every now and then, but that's it.  No playing on tablets, Kindles, cell phones, or any other devices.  The only time we've ever used that technique is in doctor's offices or road trips, and that's called survival.  I believe in letting them create, build, and use their imagination.  Not become a drone to electronics and TV.

My Granny locked my cousin, brother, and I outside the entire afternoon in the middle of the summer in Florida one day.  We were being too loud, and she couldn't hear her stories.  Then she proceeded to fall asleep and forgot about us.  We played, drank from the hose outside, and were finally let back in the house when my Aunt arrived home.  I'm still kickin' it.

My brother and I were constantly kicked out of the house to go play as kids.  We ran around the neighbor on our bikes, played with the neighborhood kids, went to the playground, and generally were hooligans.  But our butts were back home by nightfall every night.  We even rolled around in a garbage can one afternoon just for fun.  We're both still around.

I fell out of the window of a one story house while a hurricane was going on outside.  Still here.

My kids have eaten dirt.  They jump off of furniture (even though it is banned in our house).  They play boxing or 'fight' (which I should probably ban but some things just aren't worth fighting).  They make toy guns.  They climb trees, run around, and dig holes in our backyard most days.

Just last night, Jackson was at soccer practice when he and his teammate were both going after the ball.  He got kicked in the knee so hard, myself and the other parents heard it.  I didn't get up and run over there as soon as it happened.  I just sat there seeing if he could work it out himself.  I finally got up about 30 seconds later when he started grabbing his knee and crying.  The crying was so delayed I knew he was fine.  I checked his knee, told him he was fine, and helped him up.  He got a drink of water, then ran back onto the field to play.  I didn't coddle him.  I didn't make the other kid feel bad.  It was an accident, and shit happens.  No biggie.  He survived and has a nice bruise to prove it.

It's not my job to be my kid's play toy, coddle them, or be their best friend.  It's my job to parent them as I see fit.  I'm not going to fall into this Pinterest society of everything having to be perfect or creating those 'special memories' every day by constantly enabling them to rely on me.  My kids will learn to stand on their own two feet.  They will learn to solve their own problems, and I will intervene when necessary just like my parents did.

I'm not saying my parenting style is perfect or the only one.  Nope.  It's just mine.  I was raised this way, and I survived with no trauma.

What I am saying is, we, as parents, need to not feel this ridiculous pressure to make every moment special.  We need to let our kids' imaginations run free.  We should not be afraid to let our kids fail and learn a lesson.  We need to encourage each other and accept that we may not all be following the same path, but everyone's end goal is the same:

Raising good kids who will contribute to society and make a difference.

Fail, then get back up and try again

Yesterday, Jackson told Andrew he wanted to take the training wheels off his bike.  Andrew and I had discussed teaching Jackson how to ride on two wheels for awhile.  We even asked him, but he said he didn't want to learn.  When he asked to take the training wheels off, we were surprised and happy.  Off came the training wheels!

Andrew started slow on the driveway.  Jackson fell, then got back up and tried again.  Our driveway has a slope, so I suggested taking him to the cul-de-sac across from our house.  That way, he would have a long stretch to ride straight.

Jackson was balancing pretty well.  After running alongside him, both Andrew and I were able to let go of him.  He rode pretty well for his first day and was able to ride without assistance, but he did get frustrated with the learning curve.

"It should be easy.  It shouldn't be hard.  I should be able to just do it," Jackson said.

"Jackson, it takes practice.  And some people, you, have to practice more than others to get it right.  You will fall.  You will get cuts and scrape your knees, but you will get back up and practice some more.  It's the only way to learn," I said.

"But it shouldn't be this hard," he said.

And that's when it hit me.  Jackson never would have said something like that unless this is the first thing he's had to work hard for and practice. 

He's always been a quick study.  He picked up reading fairly easily.  He's decent at math and loves science.  He does not like to be wrong because he knows 'everything about everything.'  (Although, I'm sure that's true for most 5 year olds.)

This is most likely the first time he's struggled at learning something.  And you know what, I'm actually glad he's struggling to learn it.  I'm glad this isn't coming easy.  I'm glad he realizes some things take practice, practice, and more practice.  I'm glad he's fallen and failed, then got back up on his bike to try again.

Why am I happy about this?

Because that's a life lesson.

Not everything in life comes easy.  Different people struggle with different things.  Not everyone is good at everything right away.  Some people require more practice than others, but eventually, he'll learn how to ride his bike.

Whether that makes me a bad parent, I have yet to figure out (although, I think this particular time it makes me a good parent).  I'm glad bike riding isn't coming easy for Jackson.  I'm glad he has to practice a little everyday.  Eventually, he won't need me to push him to get started.  He'll be able to ride, turn and keep going.  He'll get there, but it takes time, patience and practice.

Teaching him this lesson now is important to me.  So when he fell this morning and got frustrated, I told him to get up, get back on his bike, and practice some more.  And he did.  I already saw improvement when we practiced this morning from yesterday.  Next thing you know, he'll be an independent little bike rider!

10 on 10

Yesterday was March 10, 2015.  I documented it with a 10 on 10, ten pictures depicting my daily life.  If you'd like to see another 10 on 10, please check out Rebecca's at Reebecki Supergirl.

My morning starts off making lunches for kids.  Although, I only had to make Jackson's lunch this morning since we don't have preschool on Tuesdays.

Cassidy slept in and was not fully awake when I had to go get her.

Making our way through Sam's Club.  My children never stop eating!

We stopped by Home Depot to pick up a Basil plant and a few other things.  Cullen loved all the flowers.

Lunch Time!

After picking up Jackson from school, he worked on his weekly homework sheet.

Planting the Basil plant.  Fingers crossed I can keep this thing alive.  Seriously, I have a black thumb.

Dessert!  Left over cake and cupcakes from Cassidy's Birthday.  My boys don't believe in keeping it clean.

Andrew reading the boys a book before bed time.

How I spend most every Tuesday night, a good workout at the gym.

Happy 1st Birthday Cassidy!

Cassidy turned 1 year old yesterday!  I can't believe she's a year old already.

We didn't do a whole lot.  Andrew had just arrived back late Saturday night from a business trip overseas, so he was tired and jet lagged.  We lost an hour of sleep because of daylight savings time kicking in, so we were all a little out of it.

My parents came over, and Cassidy was able to open her presents.  My mom made Cassidy a very cute quilt.  Her first quilt since Matt, my brother, went off to college.  She said it's a little rusty, but I know Cassidy will always cherish it.  Her brothers were a big 'help' when it came to opening presents.

I made Vanilla Bean Cupcakes for her birthday celebration after dinner.  Cassidy loved the cupcake and icing but not the candle.  She didn't blow out the candle, but pinched it out with her fingers.  Being the awesome mom I am, I caught the before and after facial expressions on film.  It went from happy and curious to what the hell was that to holy hell that hurt!

Her birthday was a little bittersweet for Andrew and I.  She's the last, so this will be the last first birthday.  Its hard to explain how I feel.  I'm sad, and I'm happy.  It's the start of a new era (aka no more babies) in our household.  I'm ready for it.  However, it's sad to leave behind the small fingers and toes, and all the baby cuddles.  But I'm definitely read to let go of the sleepless nights!

Happy 1st Birthday Cassidy!  We love you!

Cause it's all about the 'Good Guy'

My boys are at the stage where you're either a good guy or bad guy.  There is no in between, and there can only be one good guy.  There is no gray area when it comes to super heroes!  You better remember this too because they'll let you know you're wrong.

The number of fights Andrew and I have had to break up because they are arguing over who's the good guy are numerous.  It never dawns on them they can both be good guys until we are yelling at them because they are screaming in each other's faces, "No, I'm the good guy!  You're the bad guy!"

Since we've let the boys watch Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and the Avengers, it seems it always 'fight night' in our house.  Honestly, it doesn't bother me.  Especially since they've deemed me Black Widow (you know since I'm the only girl because Cassidy's still a baby).  I'll take that I look like Scarlett Johansson any day!

I'll let them live in a world where there's only good guys and bad guys.  There are no gray areas, and the good guys always win a little longer.  Hell if I didn't have to grow up and be adult, I'd still be playing good guys!  The magic of childhood!

 

Gloomy Weather, Gloomy You

This weather needs to go!  I'm so sick up being cooped up in the house because of cold, rainy weather.  I feel as though my kids haven't gotten outside to play in forever.  Realistically, it's probably been two weeks but still.

Have you ever noticed how the weather effects your mood?  With the constant cloud cover and rainy, foggy days, I just feel like curling in a ball under some blankets to hide.  The weather is depressing which doesn't make you want to do anything.

When it's sunny though, I'm full of energy.  The kids can't get outside fast enough, and I'm running around play good guy/bad guy with them.  The sun just makes you feel happy and ready to take on the world.  It lifts your spirits and energizes you.

Texas has another artic front coming in tonight.  This means a catastrophic nightmare for Texas!  It's unreal how much panic comes with any chance of ice, sleet or snow.  We literally delay openings and shut down schools for .10" of ice on roads.  Living the majority of my childhood in the north, this is completely unreal to me how people react to a little cold weather.  Honestly, it's quite ridiculous!  Yes, I'll take the opportunity to sleep in with school delays, but Armageddon isn't coming.

Honestly, the Northeast has taken a toll this winter.  They have taken hit after hit from snow storms and freezing temperatures.  What's going on in Texas is nothing compared to what they've gone through.  Spring needs to come to everyone soon.

I'm hoping this weekend and next week will bring us back to warm, sunny, normal March weather for Texas.  I'm ready to feel motivated to get outside and play with my kids.  I'm tired of being inside.  Bring me some sun and warmth!

The view outside this morning.