Moms Work

I collapsed into bed last night and every other night this week exhausted.

What did I do all day?  I raised my children.

I didn't wake up to an alarm and go off to work at an office or cubicle.  I didn't have to pack a lunch or face rush hour traffic.  I didn't have worry about dropping my kids off at daycare or picking them up on time.  I didn't drive back home in rush hour traffic and fix dinner.  That is not my life right now.

I woke up to the sounds of my 2 year old walking into my room at 4am crying because he had a bad dream.  20 minutes later, I put him back in his own bed, so I could finally go back to sleep.  I was woken up by a wide awake child not being able to wait and see Mom and Dad.  I groggily get up to let him watch Sesame Street while I fish his milk out of the refrigerator and make breakfast.

I have the joy of waking up my 5 month old baby boy and watching a smile break across his face when he sees me.  I love that smile.  It makes me remember why I do this every day.

I don't sit around eating bon bons all day.  I raise my children.  I provide them with meals, learning opportunities, and play time.  I cart them around to various activities.  I wipe poop butts and change dirty underwear.  I change diapers and wash my hands at least 20 times a day.  I play blocks and Legos.  I dance and sing silly songs. I color and paint.  I teach the alphabet and play learning and memory games.  I cook healthy meals.  I catch children as they jump off of couches they are not supposed to.  I dig in the dirt.  I throw baseballs and whiffle balls for hours on end because my three year old refuses to hit off a tee.  I play catch in the freezing winter and get wet with my kids in the blazing summer.  I watch my kids do all their firsts, roll, sit, crawl climb, walk, jump, and run.  I put away all my personal time to potty train them, and when I'm ready to give up, I suck it up and keep at it.  I kiss and tend to all the boo boos.  I take care of them when sick and take them to the doctor.  I throw them in the air and catch them.  I discipline them.  I teach them manners, responsibility, and how to nicely play with their siblings.  I do all this.

I get frustrated, angry, and tired.  I have fantasies about having peace and quiet and being alone.  I have no privacy, including the bathroom.  I have days I want to scream, yell, and put my head in the oven.  I wonder why my kids didn't hear me the first five times I asked them to do something.  I think maybe it would have been easier to just go back to work.  I wonder if  they'll ever get over this particular phase; only to realize another one will just take its place.  I ask my husband at least once a week, "Why did we decide children were a good idea?"

I hear all the derogatory comments made by uneducated and delusional people who believe I do nothing all day.  I hear the hurtful discussions people have when they say how they could never stay at home with their kids because they need intellectual stimulation.  I notice when people don't ask what I've been up to because they assume I do nothing.  I notice how people look down at me when I tell them my occupation.  I hear people say I must not be smart or willing to work.  I notice the scornful looks others give me.

I also hear people say, "Good for you" or "You are a saint to stay at home with your kids" or "You are better than me because I could never do your job."  Unfortunately, these things happen far less often than the negatives.

I say to you this.  Yes, I work.  I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I don't get sick and vacation days.  If I get sick, I suck it up and take care of the kids anyway.  I had a broken foot and was pregnant at the same time.  I didn't get to give my kids to someone else while I healed.  I still took care of my kids.  If I go on vacation, guess what, the kids are usually with me.

I work every day, and I do hard work.  I don't get paid for my work by money.  My pay is to see my kids grow up to be good people.  Stay at home moms get a lot less credit than they are due.  Working moms get a loss less credit too, but nobody looks down upon them.  And if they do, welcome to my world.  Apparently, we are all screwed.

Stop looking down upon Moms.  We work hard everyday whether at work or at home.  And Moms, stop judging other Moms.  You are the problem with society.  In order to feel better about yourself, you have to tear someone else down to do it.  Let people do what is right for them.  I stay at home and work.  You go to work and work.  We all work in the end just in different ways.  Stop the judging and negativity associated with both.  Lets support each other and raise good kids.